How to Invest in your Marriage Post-Baby
One surefire way to shake up things in your relationship is to have a baby. You immediately become more aware of your time, finances and sex-life (or lack thereof all of the above). Somewhere along the way we all reach a point where we have to consciously prioritize our marriage. It can happen early like it did for me or later on but I'm here to share a few tips I've learned (and am STILL learning) along the way!
Invest in YOURSELF
Surprise, surprise! One of the best ways to be happy in really any other aspect of your life is to be happy with yourself. LOVE yourself, invest in yourself. Get to know YOU like you never have before. Find out what your hobbies are, exercise, do really anything that you find brings you joy! You may say something like, "I don't have time for myself," and I hear that a lot but the truth is you DO. Time is something you can take control of, master it. If you have time to scroll on your phone then - trust me - you have time to invest in yourself.
Maybe you HAVE tried to find what brings you joy but you just can't figure it out. In that case, I'd suggest more than anything, therapy. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of and, in my opinion, everyone could use it! Don't know where to start? I'd recommend Ray of Hope Counseling Services! They are a group of Psychotherapists that offer all kinds of services and are dedicated to the helping, healing and strengthening of YOU. You can find information for individual therapy here: Therapy Peachtree City GA.
Communication is key
If there is nothing else you take away from this blog, take at LEAST this. I've found one of the most important aspects to any relationship is solid communication. Don't set expectations for your partner to fulfill when you have not even communicated those expectations to them. That sets them up for failure. So you would like your husband to wash the dishes or take the baby's diaper trash out for once or maybe you want your wife to cook dinner or even something as simple as give you a back rub. Here's the thing, your partner can not read your mind and these things need to be communicated to them! We all have needs and the may not even look like the ones I expressed above but It is still so important to set those boundaries before they get 'broken'.
On the subject of boundaries (ESPECIALLY if it's your first baby), you'll probably find that a lot of outside sources like your friends or family feel they have a right to spend time with your child. You may even find it comes off a bit demanding and your schedule starts to revolve around 'who is coming to see the baby next'. In my personal experience, I felt like Ezra was some sort of circus animal that every one wanted to see and hold. In circumstances like that, it is important to set clear boundaries with the people around you! There are plenty of years ahead for everyone to get a chance to kiss your babies cheeks but make sure YOUR family is getting that much needed solitary bonding time.
Put your marriage first
"My child comes first" - I have heard this so much since I have become a mother and that simply isn't true. Your partner comes first! If you invest in your spouse before your child, then your child is bound to reap the benefits of your healthy marriage! Make dates, sex, and making each other laugh a PRIORITY. Get to know your significant other. What are their passions and then teach them yours! I learn something new about my husband every week. The cool thing about marriage is that we are constantly evolving and changing as people so there is always going to be something new to learn!
Take the time to tell your significant other what they are doing well. We get so caught up in what can change for the better that we forget to acknowledge the wealth that already lies there.